Goals

I was never one that liked to set goals.  If I didn't set one, I couldn't be devastated when I didn't reach it.  Various times in my life I was asked, or told, that I needed to create goals;  long term, short term, big and small.  I would typically pass on the opportunity and move on. 

When I started with my weight loss coach, of course one of the first things she asked me to do was to create some goals.  I replied with "my first goal is to never have goals"  to which she wasn't completely satisfied with.  I had thought about it for a little, and had asked if I could have some time to come up with goals that I could live with.  This was a time that I was needing to change, and this would have to be one thing that I had to improve on;  setting goals. 

So I had come up with some minor goals on a weekly basis;  get more steps in, try a new recipe, take a walk 3 times a week, things like that.  Small, attainable goals.  And as small as they were, it felt great to achieve each and every one of them.  I did decide to set one big one;  to get under 200 lbs which meant losing 65 lbs.  in 1 year.

When April came, one year later, I was 4 lbs away from my goal and here I am at the end of May and still 4 lbs from my goal.  Everything I have been working for the past year + has to do with the number on the scale.  How many pounds I can lose today, this week, this month or total.   The last few months, my weight loss just came to a screeching halt.  There were some days where I gained a pound or two, but then lost it. 

The odd thing is, I have continued to drop sizes, and have dropped one size since my goal date.  It just really blows my mind that I have been so fixated on what the scale says, that I have forgotten about every inch that I have lost.  That damn scale allows me to determine success or failure on a daily basis.  But I have recently realized, that a number on the scale doesn't show how much smaller I look.  A number on the scale doesn't determine how much better I feel.  A number on the scale doesn't show how proud of myself I am. 

So I must now set a new major goal.  Or two.
1.)  To drop another size by the end of the summer
2.)  To get all of the loose skin on my arms to tighten the hell up.  :)

If I quit now, I will soon be back where I started.  And when I started I was desperately wishing to be where I am now.